


Reluctant Love

by i_feel_shinee5



Category: Korean Actor RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-17
Updated: 2015-02-17
Packaged: 2018-03-13 10:05:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3377480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_feel_shinee5/pseuds/i_feel_shinee5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When a handsome young man moves into Kim Woo Bin's ritzy apartment complex, Woo Bin expects that he will just be another one of the guys he hangs out with. However, when Lee Jong Suk reveals a secret, it challenges everything Woo Bin knows about himself and he must make a choice. Continue to play by the rules set by his family, his position and society or fight for something more for himself. </p>
<p>B writing as Kim Woo Bin<br/>J writing as Lee Jong Suk</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reluctant Love

Scenario : Kim Woo Bin lives in a ritzy apartment building and is king of the block so to speak. Popular with the men playing sports and helping out a hand now and then and even more popular with the ladies, He had a reputation to protect. Lee Jong Suk is moving in and has left tons of boxes and stuff lying on the stairs and landings.

Woo Bin tripped over a box. Frustrated, he yelled, "Yah!  Someone could get hurt."

"Oh, sorry. The people who delivered them told me they don't go inside the homes, but they didn't tell me that at the office. It would have been nice to know, huh?" Lee Jong Suk said.

"Man I hate when that happens. Do you want some help ? I can call a few friends from the building to help carry?" Woo Bin offered.

"That would be awesome! Some of these boxes are really heavy, and as much muscle as I have, I don't have enough of it. I'll buy dinner?" Jong Suk said.

"Cool. I'm Woo Bin."

"Lee Jong Suk." They shook hands then Woo Bin grabbed his cell phone and made a few quick calls. Within minutes several men arrived to assist. Alerted by the noise in the hall, several single females who lived in the building came out to see what was going on and offered to order food.

Jong Suk greeted the women and accepted their offer to order the food, thinking maybe they knew better what the men would like, but told them that he would be paying for it. He then helped alongside the men and also told them where things went.

Jong Suk is moving into one of the larger apartments and as he directed where things should go, Kim Woo Bin and Jong Suck carried on a friendly conversation:

"So where are you from?" Woo Bin asked.

"Well, I grew up in Gangnam, but I've been living with my Aunt in Jeju for the last couple years due to needing a good job and an education. Now, I'm in Seoul. I want to have a fresh start, somewhere I can meet new people."

"Cool. I'm from Cheongdamdong but don't hold it against me. This is a great apartment building. Lots of guys to hang out with and pretty girls to date. Do you play basketball?" Woo Bin asked.

"Not really, but that's only because I never had anyone to play with. Do you guys play a lot?"

"All the time. You should join us. Do you have a job? I work at the hospital. I'm a surgical resident," Woo Bin said.

"Yeah, maybe. I have a couple of interviews for around here, but as for at this moment I'm jobless. Don't worry though, I planned for this, I have plenty of money to last me a couple of months if need be. You work in a hospital? You don't look the type, no offense."

Woo Bin grinned. "None taken. Yeah it was my dad's idea. We own the hospital actually. What field are you in? Maybe I can help you or hook you up with someone who will?"

Jong Suk grinned. "I work as a barista. I noticed that this area likes coffee shops and such, which is a reason why I moved here."

"Hey, there's a great coffee shop on the way to the hospital. You should check it out. If you want, I can take you over tomorrow morning and introduce you to owner. We could get some breakfast afterwards."

"That's sounds awesome, I think I'll take you up on that," said Jong Suk.

The food arrived and everyone took a break to eat. While eating, the girls were very flirty with Woo Bin and he laughingly flirted back.

"Are you dating anyone? There are a lot of great gals here at the complex. I could introduce you?" Woo Bin offered.

"No, don't bother. I'm not dating anyone, but it's kind of difficult to when . . ." He leaned in close to Woo Bin's ear. "When everyone expects you to be straight, but you are actually the opposite." Jong Suk leaned back away with a smile on his face then opened one of the boxes.

Flustered, Woo Bin stared dumbfounded at Jong Suk for a few minutes until one of his male friends teased him about there not being any food left if he didn't hurry, As he ate slowly, his eyes slowly scanned Jong Suk. He was kind of amazed at how openly Jong Suk just admitted who he is, especially in this day and age when you have to be so careful. Still, as a barrister he would be less restricted by the rules of society. If only Woo Bin were so lucky. As the son of chaebol, his first responsibility would be to marrying and providing an heir. There was never any question that he would become a surgeon. He envied Jong Suk's ability to choose his own life and love. Still, he wanted to caution him to be careful. Not everyone at the complex would be so open and accepting of him.

One by one his friends began to say their goodbyes. As the number of males dwindled, the females slowly took their leave until it was just Jong Suk and Woo Bin. Woo Bin stood to leave and at the door turned back. Suddenly he felt angry at Jong Suk. Jealous of his freedom. Woo Bin slammed Jong Suk against the door then leaned in to whisper angrily, "I wish you had never told me that." He stalked off to his apartment but the more he thought about it, the angrier he became. A knock on the door annoyed him even more. He threw the door open and yelled, "YEH!"

Stunned, Jong Suk was standing only inches away. Woo Bin's stomach flipped. Conflicting reactions kept him from acting but he wanted to scream. In frustration, he pulled Jong Suk into the apartment, slammed the door then kissed him hard. Horrified at his own actions, he yanked the door open and ran out of the apartment.

Jong Suk stood there at the door, completely shocked with his heart pounding. He hadn't expected that at all, but it made sense. Suddenly, everything came rushing to him and he realized that Woo Bin shouldn't be alone right now, he would need someone to talk to. Jong Suk ran out of Woo Bin's apartment, but then stopped.  "Shit, where would he go?" And then an image of the basketball court came to mind and he ran.

Woo Bin ran out of the apartment complex and into his friends Jiho and Sehun.  "Are you okay? " Sehun asked.

"Fine," Woo Bin said. "What are you guys up to tonight?"

We're getting a basketball game together. Want to play?" Jiho asked.

"Not tonight. I think I'm going to go for a run. I'll check with you later and see if you need another player."

Woo Bin's thoughts and emotions were all over the place as he jogged toward the sports complex near his home. After a few laps around the track, he began to tire. He'd run out of the apartment without thought and hadn't brought his running shoes. He sat down in the center of the track and stretched out sore and tight muscles. Why had he reacted that way? He shook his head. Hadn't he already fought these demons? Why had Jong Suk made him feel so angry? So what if he had freedom. Woo Bin had money, prestige, a career and a bright future. He had the admiration of his friends, more girlfriends than anyone else and a great life. He couldn't let someone like Jong Suk ruin all that for him.

He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Kissing Jong Suk had never been his intention but now that he had, he couldn't seem to stop thinking about it. He had to get in control of himself. He walked slowly back toward the apartment complex. Maybe hanging out with his friends would make him feel more normal. As he approached the basketball courts, he was shocked to see Jong Suk playing basketball with his friends. Sehun called out to him, "Hyung, hey, come join our team. We could use another player."

Woo Bin felt apprehensive as he walked over to stand next to Sehun.

Jong Suk knew glaring at him wasn't really the best way to greet him, but Woo Bin made him so angry. You can't just kiss someone, then up and run away without talking to the other person. It makes things so much more confusing than it needs to be, and it causes both of us to be awkward. So, during the game Yong Suk decided not to let him get away. He hoped Woo Bin didn't expect him to let anything go without confronting it, because if he had, then he was quite mistaken. Yong Suk put himself on guarding Woo Bin, which meant that during the game he had to be up in his space so that Woo Bin couldn't get the ball. 

Fuck. Woo Bin thought. What the hell does this guy want from me and what the fuck is he doing. I keep changing positions to get away from him but he's relentless. I can't out him to my friends. It's not my business and if I admit I knew, it will make me look guilty by association. He pushed Jong Suk away each time he got in his face. He was sure his friends could tell he was upset but he just kept shaking his head and trying to focus on the game. However, when Jong Suk did a full body block of his shot, he'd had enough. He forcibly pushed him away and screamed, "Get the fuck out of my face."

Woo Bin's friends stared openmouthed at him. He wanted to explain. Instead he begged off. "Sorry, tired. I'm going in." He knew Jong Suk would follow him so he pulled out his phone and dialed his current girlfriend. "Shin Hye? What are you doing tonight?"

Shin Hye was pleasantly surprised to hear from Woo Bin. Lately he'd seemed distant and she was concerned that he was considering breaking up with her. "I'm free."

"Meet me at the basketball courts."

Woo Bin watched the guys play basketball while waiting for Shin Hye. He had been growing tired of her lately but tonight she was the perfect antidote to what he was feeling. He smiled when he caught sight of her. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her.

She pushed him way, "Yah! You stink."

"Hey babe. I need a shower and then we'll go get some dinner." Why did his interaction with Shin Hye feel like such a performance tonight?  Why did his eyes keep returning to Jong Suk face for his reaction? He wrapped his arm around Shin Hye's waist as they walked into the building together but Woo Bin couldn't shake Jong Suk's face from his mind.

He is such a fucking loser. That's all Jong Suk could really muster up to say about Woo Bin. He honestly felt bad for Woo Bin. Jong Suk didn't have to make anything up for anyone, he could find real friends, but Woo Bin kept his face under a paper bag, one that had a smile on the outside but a frown on the inside.

"I wonder how that feels", Jong Suk thought as he retreated to his apartment, unpacking seeming to be the only thing he can do at the moment. "I wonder how it feels to lie every day to the people you love, or I guess may not really love at all," he continued in his head. After a few minutes, he decided he didn't like the gray feeling in the room, so he turned on "Fantastic Baby" to get his mind in a better mood.

When Jong Suk carried the broken down boxes to the recycling area at the apartment complex, he didn't lock his door. It wasn't that far and the complex was quiet. The evening air was cool and the sounds of the nearby city had faded to a low hum. He breathed in deeply then returned to his apartment. He stood for a moment in the doorway and stared at Woo Bin who was sitting on his cream colored couch. He looked terrible.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what happened to me. I just couldn't – I-I can't – my life is not my own." Woo Bin struggled to find the words to explain his actions earlier that evening. "There's a lot I don't control in my life right now. My job, where I live, even the people I spend time with. The ink on my future is drying and I have so few choices going forward. I just never expected –you just shocked me – I didn't know how to feel – I'm sorry."

Woo Bin stood and walked past Jong Suk toward the door. "No hard feelings. I probably won't see you around. My schedule at the hospital is going to get a lot worse since I'm a resident so. . . ." Woo Bin had no words to express what he was feeling. Staring at Jong Suk he saw a path that would never be open to him and he felt sad and melancholy. Unexpected were the feelings of loneliness that threatened at the thought of never seeing Jong Suk again. It was stupid. They'd only just met. Why should it matter?

Jong Suk reached out and held Woo Bin's arm, keeping him from leaving. "You… Do you really love her? Does lying to her make things better?" Jong Suk really didn't want Woo Bin to leave. He wanted more time to know him.

"She's getting what she wants. If she doesn't care, why should I? It's not like she sees me as anything but a golden ticket." Woo Bin sighed then shook off Jong Suk's hand. "I promised to introduce you to the coffee shop owner. I'll keep my word on that but then," Woo Bin unsteadily gulped in air, "Let's not do this again." One lone tear slowly wafted down his cheek as he turned to gaze at Jong Suk one last time. Large dark brown doe eyes, pale skin and full red lips he longed to kiss. Woo Bin committed them to memory then turned away. "Why did you have to tell me? Why did you have to move in to this complex? WHY?"

Jong Suk suddenly felt anger boil inside of him. He forcefully pulled Woo Bin back in and pushed him against the wall next to the open door.

"Stop that. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and accepting what other people put you through! You are worth more than some worthless slut who only wants you for your money! Date girls, whatever, but at least choose someone who is worth your time and will take care of you!" Jong Suk breathed heavily, trying to calm himself down. He let go of Woo Bin and turned away, closing his eyes.

"I'll be here for you, I'll be your friend, just don't hurt yourself because you don't want to face the truth. Nothing is ever truly easy." Jong Suk said lastly, expecting Woo Bin to leave at that moment.

Woo Bin stood stunned. How dare this man say these things to him? Who the hell was he? He hadn't even existed before today. How could this man have broken through all of his carefully constructed walls? Woo Bin wanted to leave but his body refused to move. Worse, in some deep part of himself that he had long kept buried burned the desire to stay near Jong Suk. To find out what would happen if he let all the rules fall away from him. But Jong Suk wasn't the kind of man who would be content to keep quiet. He wouldn't be content to be kept hidden and secret. No. He was too dangerous. He would destroy everything. Wearily Woo Bin shrugged then forced his feet to move. "You. You don't know me. You have no right to say these things to me." He walked through the open door and stumbled down the hall with no clear idea where he was going. Behind him a door was closing but not a door made of steel or wood. No this was a door closing on possibility.

"Fuck you too," Jong Suk whispered angrily, though he wasn't sure why he was crying. One minute, he was standing there, getting his heart beaten to a pulp, and now he was hitting a wall trying to keep his tears from falling, though it did nothing to help. How was he already so attached? He had just met Woo Bin a few hours ago, yet, he already felt like he was losing someone he cared deeply for. He hated how confusing feelings were. How you can go from hating someone to liking them so quickly?

Deciding he had enough of letting himself dwell in the heart constricting pain he felt, he shut his door, and made his way to his bed. He didn't feel like plugging lights in or anything, he just made his bed and threw himself in, giving up.

Woo Bin walked blindly around the city. His brain felt numb. He walked in the direction of the hospital but all was quiet in the ER. His friend Dongwoo noticed his odd mood. "Hey, what's up with you tonight? You're not your usual happy go lucky self."

Woo Bin had known Dongwoo for a long time. They were childhood friends who had gone to school together and were also pursuing medical degrees at the same hospital. He was a person he felt he could trust. "I met someone today."

"That's great. Why so glum?"

"Have you ever met someone so far outside the rules set for you by your family and society? Someone who tempts you to throw it all away just for a moment with them?"

"Whoa. She must be something if she's got you questioning everything. Tell me about her."

Woo Bin shrugged his shoulders. "It's nothing. Forget it."

Dongwoo blocked Woo Bin's path of exit. "Listen, you obviously need someone to talk to. Let me listen and then together maybe we can find a way. Please."

Woo Bin sighed. "I only just met them today. I don't know much. I just know that from the moment I met them, I've not been able to stop thinking of them." Woo Bin rubbed his eyes and brushed his hair away from his face brusquely. "I've never had such an immediate reaction."

"Sometimes it's like that. Sometimes you don't have to get to know someone to know they will be important to you. What is so horrible about this person? So they don't have a great job or family connections. What should matter is that you love them and want to be with them. Your parents aren't so horrible to keep you from someone you truly love."

Woo Bin adamantly shook his head. "You don't understand"

"Then make me understand! Tell me so I can understand!" shouted Dongwoo.

Woo Bin stared at his friend. "She's a guy."

Dongwoo stared wide eyed and openmouthed at his friend. "Wha-Wha-What? A guy? Are you crazy? It's illegal but not only that, you're parents would kill you."

Woo Bin dropped his head into hands and groaned. "I know."

"Whoa. A guy? I didn't know you . . . I mean you always dated girls. You just don't seem the type."

"I'M NOT. It's just this guy. I can't explain it. I just feel crazy and out of control when I'm near him."

"But nothing's happened, right?" Dongwoo's expression was hopeful.

"I kissed him."

"Whoa. Oh my God. What to do. What to do."

Woo Bin stood. "You won't tell."

Dongwoo vigorously shook his head. "Who could I tell that would believe me?"

Woo Bin walked away, out of the hospital and to his apartment. He stripped, climbed into his bed and wearily closed his eyes. "Fuck," he yelled to the walls of his apartment. He tried to sleep but his body refused to relax. He was certain there was something he could do to feel better but it would be suicide. At 5:00 a.m., he climbed out of bed, dressed and walked to stand in front of Jong Suk's doorway. He raised his hand to knock but stopped inches from the door. What would he say? What could he say? He turned away and started to walk away but the sound of a door opening behind him froze him in place.

Sleep never came for Jong Suk. His mind was so fogged up, he just couldn't concentrate. So, he decided ice cream would be a good mood changer. He had gotten up, changed out of the clothes that he attempted to sleep in, and put his shoes on. Grabbing his wallet and making it to the door, he froze. He heard something from the other side. Looking through the peephole, he was surprised to see Woo Bin, but just as fast as he had seen him, Woo Bin turned and left his vision from the door. "No, he's not leaving like that." Jong Suk said in a rush before opening the door to catch Woo Bin. Jong Suk grabbed Woo Bin's hand, but didn't really know what to say.

Woo Bin turned agonizingly slowly to face Jong Suk. He gently raised his hand to cup Jong Suk's face. "I don't know what I'm doing." He stepped into Jong Suk and gently kissed him. 'It goes against everything I've ever believed about myself." One arm snaked around Jong Suk's waist and pulled him against his body. He kissed Jong Suk less gently than before. "But I can't walk away from what I'm feeling. You'll destroy me but I'm can't stop myself." Woo Bin dropped his head. "No. That's a lie. I don't want to stop myself." When he raised his eyes to Jong Suk, his cheeks were wet with tears. "My life is in your hand."

Jong Suk, feeling tears fall down his cheeks, wiped Woo Bin's from his face as well as his too. "Are you sure? I don't want you to regret anything… And although I'm falling for you faster than I would ever like to, I don't want to regret anything either." Jong Suk lifted his arms to wrap them around Woo Bin's neck, resting them on his shoulders with one hand twirling Woo Bin's curly hair.

Woo Bin's voice was filled with bitterness. "Regret? I offer you everything and you talk of regret?" Woo Bin extricated himself from Jong Suk's arms and turned away. Harshly he laughed. His voice was ragged when he spoke. "Of course I'll have regret. This isn't who I was meant to be. I'll lose everything if our relationship is revealed. What about you? What are you risking? A lowly barrister. God I must be insane." Woo Bin shook his head dejectedly then turned to stare into Jong Suk's eyes. "I'm going to step over that threshold and pull you into my arms and lose control but inside a part of me will be screaming to stop. I can't change who I am. I can't change my family's expectations or the expectations of society. All I can offer you is a part of me. Is that enough for you? When I want all of you?"

"Of course! You will be enough but I…. I just don't want you to be an unhappy man because of me…" Jong Suk turned away from Woo Bin. "I'm going inside, it's gotten cold." He turned towards Woo Bin and offered him his hand. "Are you coming in too? I have about a billion blankets in one of these boxes."

Woo Bin stood staring at Jong Suk's outstretched hand. A small smile played at the corners of his mouth. This much I can at least take for myself. If I do everything else they want, maybe I can find a way to keep him close to me. He reached out and took Jong Suk's hand. "Is it cold? I can hardly feel it when my heart is so warm." He smiled and together they walked into the apartment. At he gently closed the door behind him he realized that when he had offered Jong Suk only a small part of himself, he had lied. It was only a small part of him that he left lying on the other side of that door. He would pick it up again in the morning but it would be lighter because Jong Suk would be there to help him carry it.

He glanced around Jong Suk's apartment. He had unpacked quite a few things. The apartment was light and pleasing. His eyes fell on the messy unmade bed. He had left one bed a wreck but he felt certain he would find a new one full of peace here. Within these walls he would be happy. Jong Suk sat on the couch patiently watching Woo Bin. Woo Bin walked to stand near him, took his hand and led him to the bed. "Sleep. It's late."

Jong Suk nodded and slipped out of his shoes, then turned back to Woo Bin. "Are you going to join me?" He asked with a smile of his own as he sat down on one end of the bed. He didn't think about how that might've sounded, but even if he did, it was too late for anything anyways. He could see that they were both drained from the day.

Woo Bin sighed then nodded. "Of course." He sat, slipped off his shoes then curled up on the bed behind Jong Suk. Gruffly he pulled Jong Suk back against him and held him tightly to his chest. He gently kissed Jong Suk's neck and nuzzled close. Woo Bin whispered into his ear, "Will you be here when I wake in the morning or will you disappear like all my other dreams." Woo Bin closed his eyes. Jong Suk's heart beat in time to his. "Mine" he whispered to himself.

Jong Suk chuckled a bit. "Well, considering this is my home I don't think I'll be leaving, but will you?" He put his hands over Woo Bin's and rubbed his thumb over his fingers.

Woo Bin was silent. Jong Suk's question was simple enough. Would he be here in the morning? More complicated was whether he would be able to stay and for how long. Wearily, he whispered. "Yes, for as long as I can be." There was so much he didn't know about the man in his arms. So much he was afraid to know. But more than anything, Woo Bin just wanted to hold him and love him. He wanted to set free the person he'd hidden for so long. He wanted to know what a life without barricades, chains and rules could be. Too tired to keep his eyes open, he drifted to sleep comforted by the warmth of Jong Suk's body and the promise of the morning.

It was weird, someone else's warmth laying against you. He fell asleep so quickly it was almost scary, but waking up to someone against you, breathing, and holding you. . . It almost seemed like a dream. A good dream, but still a dream. Slowly, he extracted himself from Woo Bin's arms and made his way to the restroom. After he was finished there, he looked at the time and was almost, but not quite surprised when he saw that it was 1 pm. Deciding not to wake Woo Bin by trying to slip back into bed, Jong Suk went to his kitchen and found whatever he could to make them something to eat. That thing to eat happened to be eggs, coffee, and some leftover Kimchi that his Aunt made.

Woo Bin struggled to hold onto the dream that was slipping away from him. He groaned as his stomach rumbled. With a start, he remembered the events of the evening before. He instinctively reached out his hand to touch Jong Suk then woke with a start when his hand met only air. The bed beside him was empty. Strangled by a deep fear that had little to do with Jong Suk's absence but had been borne after countless abandonments, Woo Bin gulped big breaths of air and tried to quiet that tiny voice that constantly reminded him he was unworthy. He sat up and blinked to clear his eyes while searching frantically for Jong Suk. His stomach rumbled as he recognized the aroma of food cooking. By the time Jong Suk walked out of the kitchen, Woo Bin had managed to calm himself. He smiled shyly at Jong Suk.

"Good morning." Jong Suk greeted him with a smile. "I made something to eat, want some? Oh, and there is coffee in the kitchen." Jong Suk handed the extra plate to Woo Bin, then sat down on the couch, his legs crossed. "Did you sleep as well as I did?" He asked before shoving a mouth full of kimchi into his mouth.

"Fine. What time is it?"

"About 1 p.m."

"I guess we missed breakfast at the coffee shop." He took a bite and was surprised at how good the food tasted. "Yum," he mumbled with a full mouth.

They ate quietly. When Woo Bin finished, he stood. "I should go. I need a shower." He hesitated uncertain how to continue. What did he most want to say to Jong Suk in the light of day. "Um, are you busy today? We could hang out?" His eyes searched Jong Suk's face for the slightest betrayal but finding none, he added a broad smile. "I could show you around town?" he offered.

Jong Suk smiled. "Sounds perfect."

Woo Bin walked to the door and hesitated. "Thank you." He smiled then ducked out to head to his own apartment, his steps light and a smile on his face. "Lee Jong Suk," he whispered. How much a name and a day can change a life.

 


End file.
